I Keep Running the Wrong Way!

 Lately, I've been learning how to run. It sounds weird when I say it, but it's the truth. Now, I don't mean physically "run", but more of a spiritual run. I'll explain.

 Have you ever upset your parents, friend, or someone you respect and you think that you deserve the absolute worst punishment? However, this person grants you something you didn't expect at all? Usually it sounds like, "It's ok, I forgive you".

What! You FORGIVE me? No. This doesn't supposed to happen this way.

It's almost as if we beg for punishment for our own well being. Maybe it's just me who does that...or not.

Grace is something powerful. It really throws a person off when unexpected. I find that I tend to run away from grace often. I feel undeserving. Unworthy of grace. When I mess up, I run away. I do this with my family, my friendships, and even in my relationship. Why? Deep down I really want grace for my mishaps, but my own self righteousness tells me otherwise. I must pay for what I did wrong, I deserve the life sentence. I don't want to be charity.

God says otherwise. God tells us that we should boldly approach His throne. There we will find grace and mercy. Don't run away from it, run towards it! This is how I show God that I am grateful for His son and his payment for me. This is how I show my friends, my family, and my girlfriend that I am thankful for their love.

Imagine you've cooked tons of food and you invite your friends over with the intent of offering them what you prepared, but they refuse. Now, maybe they aren't that hungry or something like that. But, maybe they decline just to be "nice". I do this often. Actually, just yesterday. I declined a free gift out of a feeling of "I don't deserve this".

I want to stop running away. Punishing myself does not make it better. I've tried. Nothing good comes out of it, no matter how much I think it will. From now on, I will humbly accept the grace Jesus gives me. I will humbly accept the grace my loved ones grant me. I will use it as motivation to be a better person,  a better Christian. I will run towards His avalanche-like grace.

One other thing I learned a while back. This is for those who may not find that they receive grace often. "The more grace you give to others,  the more grace will be given to you". Try it.

Until next time...

-Christian Robertson