You see, I've always had a thing for teachers. I don't know why, but it was always there. It was something about it. Just about every year in school, I was head over heels for my teacher. I would even say love. Now, at that young age did I know anything about love? No, but at the time, it was real to me. It was deep. I felt it.
I remember the first one. The summer after I graduated third grade, I looked up my teacher's name in the phone book, found her address, and wrote her a letter in my sloppy almost fourth grade handwriting. I didn't expect a letter in return because I had no idea if it would even reach her. To my surprise, a week or so later I received a letter back. It was the most exciting summer to me as a kid. I remember it perfectly. I would receive a letter and then I would write back, and then I would receive another! She would sent me free movie rental tickets and a cool prism. She encouraged my writing by sending me Daffy Duck stamps and even my own personalized return labels. I think about how I would volunteer to fetch the mail and how my heart would race as I checked to see if there was anything for me. I just knew she loved me and that I was her most favorite student...in my heart anyway.
I wish I could say that was my first and only teacher love, but it wasn't. In every class, I would hold on to every word that my teacher would say. I felt as if I was the only one in the class. They were always so nice. Especially when they would give us hugs. I thought they were always extra nice to me though. I believed I was the favorite. I believed that they really loved me back. I laugh at that thought now. Silly me. Did they treat me any different than the other students? No, but to a youngster in love, I felt like I was the only one that mattered to them.
At sixth grade, however, things changed. At this point I am a little bit older and starting to put two and two together. I remember being so fascinated with this one teacher and then one day, on a field trip, she told us she was going to have a baby. Now, I wasn't old enough to know entirely what this meant. I knew that she was having a kid and she was going to be a mother, but I did not know at the time what it took for that to happen. I did, however, feel an incredible sense of betrayal. I don't know where it came from, but I felt it. It was deep. It was real.
The years fly and I go through junior high with more teacher crushes. I am fully aware now that teachers have real lives outside of school. Some have boyfriends, some are married, and some even have kids that are my age. I also realized that the chances of a teacher loving a student the way a student may be infatuated with a teacher was ludicrous. I never forget the first day of freshman year though. It was a new school and the beginning of the "best four years of my life". All of that logic flew quickly out of the window. Once again, I sat in a desk and marveled at my teacher and convinced myself that she was the one. I just knew it for sure this time. To me, she could do no wrong. Every word she spoke was perfect to me. I made an A in her class, actually. I'm pretty sure it was because I held on to every word she said.
My friends picked on me a lot when they would know I really liked a teacher in high school. What really got them going was when I would send anonymous "Valentine Grams" or place love notes on their desks before class. I actually think a proposal happened at one time or another.
I made sure to keep that teacher who I wrote after third grade posted on my life. Every few years I would look her address up in the phone book and hope I picked the right one. The last time I wrote her was right before my I finished my senior year in college. I say this in the most humble way possible, but I know she was happy to hear from me. She would be happy to hear from any one of her students. I say this because teachers teach so many students throughout the years, and very rarely do they hear how a kid ended up in life. I'm sure she was happy to hear that I was almost done with college and that I even made it that far. I'm sure she felt like she made a difference. She certainly did.
There's a special bond between a teacher and a student that I think is amazing. They teach us how to read, how to count, how to write, and spell. They also teach us about our country and our world. They inspire us. A lot of time and energy is invested into students. Because of this, I am sure that teachers feel really accomplished and loved when a student says, "I love you" or "You are the best teacher ever".
Until next time...
-Christian
