Crush

I like to consider myself to be a hopeless romantic. I'm not sure as to what level I am on that scale, but I'm on there somewhere. The reason I know this? Well, it dates back to my school days. Kindergarten to be exact...

You see, I've always had a thing for teachers. I don't know why, but it was always there. It was something about it. Just about every year in school, I was head over heels for my teacher. I would even say love. Now, at that young age did I know anything about love? No, but at the time, it was real to me. It was deep. I felt it.

I remember the first one. The summer after I graduated third grade, I looked up my teacher's name in the phone book, found her address, and wrote her a letter in my sloppy almost fourth grade handwriting. I didn't expect a letter in return because I had no idea if it would even reach her. To my surprise, a week or so later I received a letter back. It was the most exciting summer to me as a kid. I remember it perfectly.  I would receive a letter and then I would write back, and then I would receive another! She would sent me free movie rental tickets and a cool prism. She encouraged my writing by sending me Daffy Duck stamps and even my own personalized return labels. I think about how I would volunteer to fetch the mail and how my heart would race as I checked to see if there was anything for me. I just knew she loved me and that I was her most favorite student...in my heart anyway.

I wish I could say that was my first and only teacher love, but it wasn't. In every class, I would hold on to every word that my teacher would say. I felt as if I was the only one in the class. They were always so nice. Especially when they would give us hugs. I thought they were always extra nice to me though. I believed I was the favorite. I believed that they really loved me back.  I laugh at that thought now. Silly me. Did they treat me any different than the other students? No, but to a youngster in love, I felt like I was the only one that mattered to them.

At sixth grade, however, things changed. At this point I am a little bit older and starting to put two and two together. I remember being so fascinated with this one teacher and then one day, on a field trip, she told us she was going to have a baby. Now, I wasn't old enough to know entirely what this meant. I knew that she was having a kid and she was going to be a mother, but I did not know at the time what it took for that to happen. I did, however, feel an incredible sense of betrayal. I don't know where it came from, but I felt it. It was deep. It was real.

The years fly and I go through junior high with more teacher crushes. I am fully aware now that teachers have real lives outside of school. Some have boyfriends, some are married, and some even have kids that are my age. I also realized that the chances of a teacher loving a student the way a student may be infatuated with a teacher was ludicrous. I never forget the first day of freshman year though. It was a new school and the beginning of the "best four years of my life".  All of that logic flew quickly out of the window. Once again, I sat in a desk and marveled at my teacher and convinced myself that she was the one.  I just knew it for sure this time. To me, she could do no wrong. Every word she spoke was perfect to me. I made an A in her class, actually. I'm pretty sure it was because I held on to every word she said.

My friends picked on me a lot when they would know I really liked a teacher in high school. What really got them going was when I would send anonymous "Valentine Grams" or place love notes on their desks before class. I actually think a proposal happened at one time or another.

I made sure to keep that teacher who I wrote after third grade posted on my life. Every few years I would look her address up in the phone book and hope I picked the right one. The last time I wrote her was right before my I finished my senior year in college. I say this in the most humble way possible, but I know she was happy to hear from me. She would be happy to hear from any one of her students. I say this because teachers teach so many students throughout the years, and very rarely do they hear how a kid ended up in life. I'm sure she was happy to hear that I was almost done with college and that I even made it that far. I'm sure she felt like she made a difference. She certainly did.

There's a special bond between a teacher and a student that I think is amazing. They teach us how to read, how to count, how to write, and spell. They also teach us about our country and our world. They inspire us.  A lot of time and energy is invested into students. Because of this, I am sure that teachers feel really accomplished and loved when a student says, "I love you" or "You are the best teacher ever".

I guess I stayed true to my fascination with teachers. Heck, I ended up marrying one. I guess I got my wish after all.. I finally get to fully express my love, real love, to a teacher. I get to call her my wife. She's fantastic and deserves every bit of it. There are times though when she tells me that one of her student's would say, "I love you Mrs. Blair". I then proceed to threaten to find this kid because I know, from experience, that this kid's love is deep, he feels it, and it's real.

Until next time...

-Christian

Marriage, Moving, and Other things

I decided to follow my good friend, Bri's idea of doing a highlight of what's been happening in Christian's World the past few months. Hold on tight!

1. I got engaged. And then I got married.
- Yep, I Christian Joseph Robertson is off the market, forever. That is official as of June 29, 2013. I was lucky enough to wed the beautiful and unique Blair Leonard(now Robertson). It has been great. She is the girl of my dreams and I am very happy. She believes in me and loves listening to my crazy "starring in a movie and having a house with water slides and Freestyle Coke machines" dreams. We had a great wedding and enjoyed having our friends, family, and co-workers there. Truly, a night to remember. We honeymooned to the Domincan Republic, which was beautiful and quite an experience at the same time. That is all I will say about that.
  I suppose I am not super surprised that I just so happen to marry a teacher, being that I had a crush on a number of my teachers growing up. True story. It was real love, in my eyes anyway. More on that soon.

2. Colorado.
- If getting married wasn't a big enough change for both Blair and I, we tacked on moving to Highlands Ranch, Co. For those of you who do not know, I will clarify briefly. Weeks before my graduation last year(May 2012) I felt God calling me to go help serve at Connection Church(my home church, Crossroads, church plant). It was something entirely from left field in my eyes, totally not in "my plan". But God has a funny way of changing things, at the last minute might I add. After being convinced of this, I told Blair and she was on board. Fast forward a year, we arrived here a month after we were married. It is beautiful here. Very different from Louisiana for sure. The church family has done a great job of making us feel welcomed. Pastor Shawn is fantastic and I believe he is the man for the job. Also, it has been great to reconnect and serve alongside Lee, Bri, and Laura once again. Oh yea, people are Bronco crazy here. Sure beats people being Saint's crazy. I'd say this is an upgrade. I hope that burned, just a little bit. Go Falcons. *ahem*

3. Friends.
- I never was the friend who moved away. I was always the one who stayed. This time is quite different, obviously. I have missed my friends back home a whole lot. It is hard imagining their lives going on without me being there. Blair has felt the same way. It definitely takes some getting used to. Both old friends who've been there from the beginning and new friends who I've grown closer to recently are all missed. So if you get random text messages from me, you know why.
  Besides our new church friends, who by the way are great,  it hasn't been "easy" making new friends so far. I think once I score a job and get around people on a regular basis, I think it will change. Blair's off at work teaching all day, so I get a  lot of time alone. To keep myself sane I hangout at the local Starbucks. I've made one friend or maybe just an acquaintance; his name is Darren and he's a Barista from Cali. I tried the sparking random conversation with people thing, but it hasn't worked too well. Maybe they aren't used to random people talking to them, or maybe I just come off as weird. Who knows, but someone will talk to me!

4. Social Media
- Living far away really isn't as bad as it could be. Because of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, I get to keep up and interact with most of you. So post away!

Until next time....

-Christian



 
 

Chisel

  I recently led our small group discussion this week. We discussed purification and why it is important to constantly allow God to purify our hearts. Luke 6:45 says "What you say flows from what is in your heart". We all have junk inside of us that may come up unexpected in trying situations at work, school, or life in general. Sometimes, when we respond in a "non-Godly" way, we are left trying to figure out why we responded as such. It happens. It's normal for the flesh to act that way. However, it does not mean that it can not be controlled.

  When God begins to purify us, it is not an easy task. In fact it hurts! All of that junk has to be taken out so that we can be "a special utensil for honorable use"(2 Tim 2:21). The shame and pain is all worth it in the end despite what the process feels like.

  All of this sort of flows with what I've been thinking of today.

  Just before my lunch break today, I asked my co-worker whom I work really close with everyday about my performance at the company. I do this every so often so that I can be the best that I can be at what I do. Let me tell you, it was not easy hearing some of the things. Granted, it was not HUGE things, but merely things I can improve on and keep in mind. I asked for it, so why did I feel so low?

  I believe when we put ourselves in a meek and humble position to take criticism and correction, we have a huge fight in front of us to keep our prideful nature from rising up and debunking anything someone else says.   At least that is what I think.  I would be lying if I did not think thoughts like, "I do that already! How do you not notice?" I really did not expect that conversation to have this affect on me, but it is what I need to become better at what I do.

  I watched this video a while back entitled "God's Chisel". It was a great illustration of what we feel when God is sculpting us into his workmanship. Like I described earlier, it is not a glorifying feeling, but actually quite opposite. Humbling. But in the end we can look back and say that it truly was for our well being. My co-worker pointing out things I can do better is what helps me to become a better athletic trainer. God's chiseling away of junk in our lives is what helps us to be better Christians. Every time we open ourselves up for purification  it becomes a tad bit easier to make it through the fire that ultimately refines us.

Until next time,

-Christian

"I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold..." -Zechariah 13:9

P.S.: I am attaching a link to the video, "God's Chisel" by the Skit Guys. Check it out.

http://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel

I Keep Running the Wrong Way!

 Lately, I've been learning how to run. It sounds weird when I say it, but it's the truth. Now, I don't mean physically "run", but more of a spiritual run. I'll explain.

 Have you ever upset your parents, friend, or someone you respect and you think that you deserve the absolute worst punishment? However, this person grants you something you didn't expect at all? Usually it sounds like, "It's ok, I forgive you".

What! You FORGIVE me? No. This doesn't supposed to happen this way.

It's almost as if we beg for punishment for our own well being. Maybe it's just me who does that...or not.

Grace is something powerful. It really throws a person off when unexpected. I find that I tend to run away from grace often. I feel undeserving. Unworthy of grace. When I mess up, I run away. I do this with my family, my friendships, and even in my relationship. Why? Deep down I really want grace for my mishaps, but my own self righteousness tells me otherwise. I must pay for what I did wrong, I deserve the life sentence. I don't want to be charity.

God says otherwise. God tells us that we should boldly approach His throne. There we will find grace and mercy. Don't run away from it, run towards it! This is how I show God that I am grateful for His son and his payment for me. This is how I show my friends, my family, and my girlfriend that I am thankful for their love.

Imagine you've cooked tons of food and you invite your friends over with the intent of offering them what you prepared, but they refuse. Now, maybe they aren't that hungry or something like that. But, maybe they decline just to be "nice". I do this often. Actually, just yesterday. I declined a free gift out of a feeling of "I don't deserve this".

I want to stop running away. Punishing myself does not make it better. I've tried. Nothing good comes out of it, no matter how much I think it will. From now on, I will humbly accept the grace Jesus gives me. I will humbly accept the grace my loved ones grant me. I will use it as motivation to be a better person,  a better Christian. I will run towards His avalanche-like grace.

One other thing I learned a while back. This is for those who may not find that they receive grace often. "The more grace you give to others,  the more grace will be given to you". Try it.

Until next time...

-Christian Robertson

"Good story, tell it again!"

I didn't do much talking growing up. As a matter of fact, even to this day, anyone who knows me probably wouldn't pick me as the "person who never shuts up". I have to say that I can actually hold my own in a conversation due to much practice. I don't feel as scared or nervous anymore.

I never knew what to talk about. That was mainly the reason I suppose. Whenever we started getting cell phones teenagers and we would talk on the phone, I dreaded the question: "Sooo, what do you want to talk about"? I don't know about anyone else, but this was always so awkward for me. The pressure would rise up in me so fast as I would jog my mind for the first sensible thing to blurt out. That sensible thing usually ended up being something along the lines of "I don't know, what do you want to talk about"? Pressure subsides slightly. "I don't know, I asked you first...". Pressure builds back up...

One thing I noticed all those days I would blend in with a group of people in the hallways at school was the fact that someone always had a story to tell. They were always great stories! They made me laugh and built up excitement inside of me as I would paint a "mind movie" inside my head. I was always particularly good at doing that, ever since a little kid. I can imagine things to very fine details---as if I was actually involved in the story.

I came to college and met Eric Treuil and he became by far the best story teller I have ever known! He was funny and always had the crowd hanging on to his every word. How did he do it so well? 

Everyone doesn't start off with the gift of telling great stories in my opinion. There are great story tellers, but then there are bad ones. Some friends told me about our friend Lana who had to learn the hard way about good story telling. According to her, she would tell exciting stories(so she thought) to her softball teammates at practices. After she would finish her spill, she would get a not so nice reaction. Her teammates would clap and sarcastically chant "Gooood story, tell it again". Ouch. I can't imagine hearing that after telling what I thought would be a fantastic story.

No one wants to be that person at the party.  Heck, I pray to never be that person at the party.

Hearing about Lana made me start to ponder on what it took to tell a good story. I realized that stories are all about life. Every person has a life, therefore, providing great potential stories to tell. However, not everyone has experiences worth telling a story about. Yes, that is subjective, but hear me out.


Imagine I went to work every day and worked the same 9-5 shift. I would then come home and watch a couple of my favorite TV shows, eat some dinner, and then go to bed. What if that was the only thing I did...ever? I can't imagine much out of the ordinary happening too often. 

My good friend and mentor Lee spoke once about living a life worth telling about. This message was inspired by a book by author Donald Miller. He spoke about how we shouldn't shy away from experiences that are outside of the ordinary. These non-ordinary things are the life experiences worth telling about. 

I can tell you, I grew up striving to be super ordinary. I didn't like to do things that would make me the least bit uncomfortable. I didn't like to shake things up.  For example: I didn't eat any meat that wasn't chicken. I would only wear basketball shoes, and speaking of shoes, I never took mines off when walking in the sand. Like I said, ordinary. 

Some things have changed since then. I like steak and I occasionally take my shoes off on the beach now. I have experienced more things that are worth sharing. Which brings me to this last point. Now that I have opened my self up to some new experiences, new places, and new people; how do I make these into good stories to share? What does it take?

To be continued....

Would you like whipped cream on that?

 "Grande Chocolate Mochasippi? Would you like some whipped cream"? I wish I had a dime for every time I said that line. If I did, I would be pretty wealthy. Working at Community Coffee House has taught me a lot about interacting with people. I've gained more patience, understanding, and have been forced to communicate better as a person. Patience, however, is the most important for working at a coffee shop. There are so many times when a customer would come inside or in the drive-thru and order a drink. It's a coffee shop, that is what happens, people order drinks. My point though is that so many people come through and there is a mis-communication of some sort of what drink they ordered. Sometimes it's our fault, but at other times it's not. Even when it's not our fault that a drink is "not what the customer wanted", we have to make it over the "correct" way. Asking them what we can do to make it better for them becomes quite inconvenient when there is a line wrapped around the building during our morning rush, but we must be patient with them for the simple fact that the customer is always right.
 
  Since graduating college this past May, my mindset has changed dramatically. I'll explain. Working at CC's has been a great job for me to gain some extra cash during my last year of school. I didn't really work during college before that because of clinicals with my major and the great time commitment. My senior year, however, I decided to try and fit a job in there. It was tough at times, but the company was really flexible with me. As graduation became closer though, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I could see myself doing something in my field of study soon after I walked across that stage. Surprisingly, it didn't exactly happen that way.
 
  The entire summer was full of driving around Lafayette delivering resume's, calling every clinic I came across, and attending interviews here and there. Nothing seemed to work out for me as easily as I thought it should. I knew I had to be patient and realize that it takes time for a recent grad to find work in their major, nothing unusual. The final weeks of July approach and again I thought I would have retired my apron by now. Unfortunately, I was still serving up caramel lattes. Every shift that came and went I grew more and more frustrated and impatient. I would think to myself: "I am higher than this. I deserve better. I worked really hard to get a degree, I shouldn't be here right now"! Every customer that came up, I so desperately wanted to make it known to them that I graduated and that I was worth more. I wanted them to know that this wasn't the end of the road for me. My attitude became very funky, until God reminded me of something very important. Humbleness.
 
  How could I forget about this? How could I forget that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble? Duhh Christian! I started to realize that I didn't have to have this attitude. I had to get rid of that nasty mindset and notice that having any job at the moment is a blessing, given the economy now. I was reminded that I needed to make the most of the situation that I am in currently and use it to prepare myself for the next step. I know God has more for me, but I believe this is something that I needed to learn first.
 
  There will be times in our lives when we will not like the situation we are in at all, we will feel like we are "much more" than this, but we must praise Him still and not be bitter about it. I became bitter and impatient because of the pressure of getting my new life jump-started seemed to not move as quickly as I felt it should. I felt discouragement every time I had to tell someone that I was "still looking for a job". Once I let all of that go and remembered that I had to be grateful for the little things so that I can appreciate the bigger things more, that junk inside of me started to leave. I learned to be content with where I was.
 
  Three to four days after this revelation I received a call for a very good job offer.  It's amazing how fast things can turn! It couldn't have come at a better time for me. I will make the most of these last few weeks at CC's like I should."Tall mocha? Sure. Oh yea...would you like whipped cream on that"?

Until next time...

-Christian

 

I am okay with that.

  This weekend I was having a conversation with my friends Tyren and Chinos about a book called "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. I never read the book, but I received a very good explanation of what it was about. The author wrote about why people have great success. The example that Tyren gave was that of hockey players in Canada. Kids who were born well before the cut off date are typically bigger than the ones who just made the cut off date to enter school, therefore, more athletic for the most part. So those kids always had an advantage because they were in an environment where they stood out physically. Through the years they would play hockey, they would always get to go to the good hockey camps and continue to get better and better. This set them up for success above their peers. The book seemed to question if success was based on "natural" talent or genes like we always seemed to think. Maybe a person's success was based on something else. Malcolm Gladwell presents the idea that these great professional athletes, businessmen, actors, simply had the advantage of being in the right environment.

  

  Every time I come home since I have been in college and now post-college, I have began to notice how different I am from the people around me. I look around at people in my neighborhood and all around my hometown and notice that I am different in a lot of ways. Why is that? I grew up in the same neighborhood, same school, similar circumstances and a few other variables that are closely related. However, we are completely un-alike. There must be something else that plays a factor in the outcomes of one person to the other. 

  While I agree with Malcolm that environment plays a role in how a person ends up and how they are set up for success, I believe there is something else that goes with it. My reason being that if it was solely environmental conditions, I would be much more like the people I see back home. I think there is power in encouragement. Despite the situations I grew up in, I was set up for success by being told that life does not have to be like you see it now. It can look totally different for me. I can be someone. I can go somewhere. I think that is the "other" thing. I think that encouragement is the difference between a person who "makes it out and does something". Why? Well someone had the heart and told me that I do not have to settle for what I see.  Some people do not get to have someone tell them that. I realize how blessed I am, but at the same time my heart breaks for those I see who did not have what I had. 

  By all means, this is not a blog to bash or puff myself up, but merely to reveal a point. I CHOSE to go to college, I CHOSE to dream big, I CHOSE to live a different lifestyle than what I saw, but instead a Christian lifestyle. All these things contribute to who I am now and how I live now. When I mention to people from home that I enjoy hanging out at coffee shops with friends and reading books, or that I have a desire to be married in my early twenties and that I love going on mission trips to tell people about the love of Christ, it shocks them. I truly believe it's because its against the "norm". It's different than usual. It is different than my past environment. I admit it, I am different in a lot of ways, but I am okay with that.

Untill next time...

-Christian